They connect me to summer (my favourite time of year, I only wear them on hot summer days). They mean I don't have to rush. That the pace of my existence has begun to slow a little, for at least a few moments. They make me think of hot bbqs and cold beers. Of long summer evenings and the laughter of friends. They make me think of holidays. Of the smell of sun cream. They also connect me to feeling accomplished. Of lacking worries. The feeling of a job done, tied off, bagged up and shipped. Time to down tools and take a moment. The music I link to them is varied, but almost always chilled out and laid back, sometimes celebratory.
All that from slipping on my old, well worn flip flops. In fact, I only need to see someone else in flip flops, in the summer, and I feel a little more positive!
It's interesting what places, people and things we can instantly find our minds wondering to when we connect to a certain other person place or object. But do we pay these connections and the residual feeling enough mind? Are we aware of the connotations a certain someone has for us, or where they came from in the first place? Is there a reason we are drawn back to a certain place or avoid others for apparently no reason?
If we aren't mindful of these things how can we make active choices about our lives whilst giving consideration to those choices impact on our mental health? And that's not a straight line of 'do stuff and go places that feel good and avoid places that feel bad' either. Too much of a good thing can ruin it by removing it's tantalizing occasionalism. And simply not going somewhere or seeing someone because we find it challenging of difficult can mean missing out on a journey of overcoming and potential expansion for our mind and body.
More importantly, it's about understanding our triggers and when to pull them ourselves. What do I need when I am feeling down, feeling distant, feeling tired? What's that thing or place that can lift my mood or reconnect me to myself or to others? Do I just need to get out of my work clothes and slip on some flip flops or do I need something more, do I need to speak my truth to someone I know can truly hear me? Do I need a good nights sleep?
Knowing why those positive things are important can deepen the bond in our brain between that certain thing or place or person and we can consciously acknowledge the importance of it/them and make choices about how and when we access them/it.
Making that same choice in the other direction can be hard, especially about a person. But understanding why a relationship has become difficult and believing whether or not it can be different can be key in deciding if that relationship is worth working on. Knowing that someone holds value and is important in your life, despite their place in it not being an easy one can help create the motivation to work on that relationship. Seeing what that person connects you to, in the world around you but also inside yourself is so important to how we maintain relationships and what impact they have on our journey.
Seeing the lack of value and connection in another person can be hard to confront and even harder to act upon. But as we become more self aware of our connections and the impact they have on us, those we care about and the direction of our path, decisions can often appear simplified, even when they are hard.
Finding ways to be mindful, to create a positive head space and make decisions from that space is invaluable. We all have different ways of doing this and once there we can practice the observation of our connections and apply that to all elements of our life.
For some it may be music or running or coffee with a loved one.
For me, sometimes, it's flip flops
